Though the entire notion of retrieving some profound and transformative lesson while traveling is not lost on me, this one might simply be about returning to a place that has continued to mend my broken heart time after time.
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The first time I visited San Francisco, I was accompanied by my two good friends from college, Sarah and Sam for what unintentionally went on to become my first official adult trip.  I had never traveled anywhere on my own accord, much less exercised any sort of freedom beyond the four walls of my college campus, and remember feeling this strong dichotomy between the excitement of finally visiting a city I'd heard so much about, coupled with the loss of my very first boyfriend after our relationship had recently (and very abruptly) come to a sudden end. In many ways, he'd represented so many first experiences, and I was finding it tough to fully emotionally detach. Yet, particularly for the sake of my eminent launch into adulthood, I was needing to hurry up on the whole “moving on” aspect of things. And boy did the universe pick the perfect place to snap me out of it.

‍In the midst of pushing through my final –and arguably most difficult– semester in school,  I let these two wonderful girls convince me to top-off our year with a celebratory trip to a place I’d only ever seen in pictures. At the time, I must’ve been making around $150 a week from my work-study desk job, but even then I remember thinking this was something I should do.
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And I’m so glad I did. 

At some point during our trip, we ventured out into the beach and scaled some rocks by the water. We perched patiently for what seemed like one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen, and I stepped away from the girls for a second, etching just the slightest bit closer to the ocean. I remember standing at the edge of the stone, feeling immensely proud of the growth I was making despite the pain I'd been pushing through; to be there in what at the time felt like such a foreign and unreachable place, to be traveling on my own accord and money, and to be doing it with some of the people I loved the most…. It was a milestone big enough to piece me back together. Who knew only a short couple of years later, I’d be back in the same place, with a similar headspace and a parallel need to be reminded of all that comes ahead?
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Once more, it would seem I find myself wrapped in the sonnet of romance and heartbreak, rediscovering how to properly return to myself one and alone, and very much in need of that same reinforcement.  And I have to say, these quiet moments of sweet surrender you sometimes find yourself in, might just be among the greatest joys we get to experience. To discover you’ve arrived somewhere and feel as though the world welcomes you into that very moment in time –it’s indescribably moving. Not at all unsurprisingly, the universe has brought me back to a place where memory is a three-dimensional word, and progress feels so heavy in the air you can almost taste it. And just like before, I’ve returned at the beckon of friendship, this time that of my long-time friend and former college roommate, Satwik who extended an invite shortly after discovering he’d be spending the weekend for a work trip from Texas.

For the most part, I think we’d all like to believe that the best things in life are those we work towards, and –by extension– orchestrate for ourselves. In fact, I know I consistently tout about creating our own happiness and taking life by storm. Yet against my own words, I’d also happily argue that some of the deepest moments we get to experience are stored in those unexpected seconds where life finds us and we hold our breath in wonder. It felt a little like this, this time around.
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‍I’ll skip any excessive details here (you can read the original SF piece for a fully built itinerary of things to see and do in this colorful city here) and just say that the short couple of days we spent were as good as they could get. We ventured through a dozen popular spots on the map, ate at some of the best food joints in the area, and averaged about ten miles of daily strolling through and about. And once again I could feel the city whisper that same resounding anthem that pieced me back together the first time around. 


Though I’d love to boast about the sense of control I’ve managed to exert in my own iteration of life, that San Francisco would become the place I be reminded of the power we wield to carry forward, I most certainly had no say in. But standing there at the edge of the water, looking out into the bridge and watching the horizon break into the waves just like the first time…it’s as if the universe knew what I'd been feeling. Gazing far into that sunset, it was like I could breathe again. Like I could see the bigger picture.

At the start of this year, I took a look at my life and decided I was no longer anywhere near where I wanted to be. I was overworked, underpaid, and beyond my last breath of exhaustion. And against my better judgement, I quit the life I had so carefully built to run away to my home country and with my best friend then boyfriend (more on that? Read about it here). I fell in love with the culture, the people, and –inevitably– with the person who was there to support me through an incredibly uncertain time.
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Coming back from that, understanding that things ended on the best terms imaginable, but still ended was indescribably suffocating. To be in New York again, seeing everything I had worked towards come to fruition, and start adapting to life as a single entity again, was much tougher than I could’ve expected. But then here I was, feet planted in the sand, and with the same understanding that had comforted me the first time. That I had gone through all these things, weathered storms unimaginable, and managed to bring myself to back this haven of peace and wonder, and beauty, and awe. And that I had wielded the power to do it alone. It meant everything. 
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And I guess that’s the lesson I’ll leave behind here. That regardless of how tough things seem to get, you alone have the power to bring yourself forward and seek out those skies that lie ahead. My favorite wizard said it best when teaching that  “happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times. One need only remember to turn on the light.” Emphasis on one here. My wish for you then, is that you might continue to bring yourself to the bigger and better things in life that lie ahead, just on the other side of that darkness. Because you can. And should.  

I left of a piece of my heart in San Francisco that week, and thought I can’t say I know when I’ll be back, I most certainly hope it’s not for a third round of much-needed heart soothing. Maybe. We’ll see.  
 
Stay close dear friends, and as always more to come.